I've had so much trouble writing lately--and I've started to think it's because of something...wrong..with me.
Not the case at all. It's just a matter of WILDLY second-guessing the things I have to say. Or want to say. Or GET to say.
I feel like I fell out of love with myself for a while. Reality is: my life is fucking incredible right now, and because its gotten so good--it's become easier for me to dream small. The inspiration, the drive and energy for what I want to accomplish seemed to disappear from me for a very very long time. I stopped caring. Started floating. Doing things the easy way. Stopped laying it all out on the table for fear that my life will just evaporate. Wisp through my fingers like a fistful of smoke. Maybe I snuck and told myself I was too 'grown-up' for big dreams.
How dumb is that?
Especially in the field I've chosen...there's no TIME for me to dream small. No time to think I've succeeded in a few minor roles and now I've got the assurance and ability to approach the REALLY big ones. Confidence? Yes, absolutely. Assurance? No. Definitely not.
Kickin' the mighty bucket might be the only sure thing we can truly count on...so I'm going to stay vigilant about my routines. I'm not going to let myself slip into the easy track again.
Because that'd be easy. I don't want easy. I want adventure.
Love you all, goddammit.
-Dak
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Midnight in Paris and 2:40 in Boise
I saw Midnight in Paris with a pal two nights ago, and while I'm not an enormous Woody Allen fan, I really enjoyed it. Titular stuttering intellectual Larry Stu aside, I found myself really feeling a strong connection to The Message of the film.
Okay, maybe the message is "Don't marry a bitch." but that message has been done to death.
More important to me was the fact that in the end, the film made me want to be more me. It made me want to really turn off the censors, take an honest look at myself, and do some organizing. Yeah...it made me want to read more T.S. Eliot and flit through The Sun Also Rises again too...but hey. It was a sort of "Take back your life" in clever overdrive.
Okay so yes, all the characters in 'The Present' were awful people to the point of farce, or ridiculously beautiful and inexplicably attracted to Owen Wilson. Everyone in the past was Quirky yet lovable...typical fantasy fare.
But I don't know, man...it definitely made me think. Of what? I'm not sure. It still kinda feels like I've been flying by the seat of my pants for the past six months or so...but at least I feel a little more directed.
It's all interesting, isn't it?
-Dak Attack
Okay, maybe the message is "Don't marry a bitch." but that message has been done to death.
More important to me was the fact that in the end, the film made me want to be more me. It made me want to really turn off the censors, take an honest look at myself, and do some organizing. Yeah...it made me want to read more T.S. Eliot and flit through The Sun Also Rises again too...but hey. It was a sort of "Take back your life" in clever overdrive.
Okay so yes, all the characters in 'The Present' were awful people to the point of farce, or ridiculously beautiful and inexplicably attracted to Owen Wilson. Everyone in the past was Quirky yet lovable...typical fantasy fare.
But I don't know, man...it definitely made me think. Of what? I'm not sure. It still kinda feels like I've been flying by the seat of my pants for the past six months or so...but at least I feel a little more directed.
It's all interesting, isn't it?
-Dak Attack
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)