JEEZ MAN.

WOW.

So I'm definitely glad I got that last post off my chest--but I am NOT feeling that way anymore. I realize that what was stifling me so much was the fact that I was trapping myself. I was all like, "LOOK DeeKs. You ARE NOT ALLOWED to FUCK IT UP BIG TIME."

And y'know what? Eff that ess in the bee.

I am going to fuck up BIG HUGE TIMES. I'm going to bomb like the Luftwaffe (too soon..?) I am going to fall on my face in a heap of doo-doo sticks, and I'm going to stand right back up, pull up my pants, and do it again.

Let me lay it out on the table--
I'm TERRIFIED by the actors I'm working with. They're....like....PROFESSIONAL and shit. I know this comes with the territory. Me being a newcomer and all, I feel like I've got to establish that I belong there...but just my BEING there establishes that I belong there. The director isn't going to pull me aside midway through the run and say, "You know...I really think we made a mistake with you. This no-lines footman tea-serving thing REALLY isn't working out."

I AM BROKE LIKE JOKE. In communist Russia, BANK uses YOU! Oh..wait...that's everywhere... But yeah, I'll get a paycheck next Thursday...so I've REALLY got to make this 40 bucks last. If I'm gonna' go out, I'm going to PRE-GAME like a FACE.

SPEAKING OF GOING OUT--I mentioned the lack of bonage. (Annah, you know who to call if you ever swing by Idaho. ROWR. If you squint and I put on an accent, I am EXACTLY like Ricky Martin oh wait but not gay.) I realize it was just an extra thing to complain about. BESIDES WHO NEEDS ROMANTIC INTERLUDES WHEN YOU HAVE ANIME TO WATCH OH GOD I'M SUCH A FUCKING GEEK.

I vow to fuck it up in a major way, but only as a means to an end. How can you really be immortal if you don't shoot yourself in the face?

METAPHORICALLY--SWEET JESUS--METAPHORICALLY.

Suck My,
Dak