(I'm watching the coolest conversation between Tom Whitaker's clone and a skinny intense man with glasses outside. In my head there's a lot of profanity and metaphysics.)
SO in returning to L.A., I began to notice a certain...attitude...I guess? Yeah, that's what we'll call it. I've dubbed this attitude "Hey-WHOA!!" (Also comes in profanity flavor!) Now imagine doing that while throwing your hands up in your face, protectively. Do it a couple of times, and you'll begin to embody what I'm talking about. It's not even like I was gone for very long, but going to Nebraska--where strangers ask "Have you had enough to eat?" was a very nice eye-opener. I realized that in my self, I'm generally quick to put up the barriers. It got to the point where I'd just lock myself in for the sake of preemptively protecting my ego. (Which incidentally is the single off of my new emo rock album.) It's not a fun way to be. It's sort of telling yourself that you can't handle anything. "BE CAREFUL ALL THE TIME BECAUSE YOU SUCK BALLS." LOTS of folks in L.A., for reasons I may dive into in some other rambling pseudo-intellectual post, embody this attitude to a T.
ALTERNATIVELY
"If you can't be the one you love, love the one you is"
More often than not, I'll beat myself up about things instead of just outright fixing them. Its easier for me to find motivation through self-hatred rather than through an objective and love-based desire to change. Being a dick to yourself feels powerful and dramatic, but it can't sustain itself. You can pull out you guts and stomp on em as much as you want, but in the end--you're still gutless. Lately, I've been opting instead to just come from a place of love and let changes take the time they need. You don't teach a child to walk by screaming f-bombs at it when it falls down. Though...*snicker*...I mean...the image is delicious.
But no, seriously. You're loved. If we have enough love to give some to our favorite pair of shoes--we can eat least sling some in our own direction.
Speaking of which-
Love Love Love and Dirty Jokes,
Dakotah
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