RANDOMNESS BITES! YUM.

HERE IS A MIRROR'S EDGE REVIEW

Yes, its several years too late. Nevertheless, here is my Mirror's Edge review.

PARKOUR PARKOUR PARKITTY PARKOUR PARKOUR. THIS GAME IS ABOUT PARKOUR.

Anyway, you play as Margaret Hsian and you run around on walls and fall to your death a lot. There are three supporting characters in the game. Douche, Woman, and Gravity. The story goes--eighteen years ago, some people protested. You ran away from home and were raised by the dude from the opening scene in Casino Royale. Also your mother is dead. And your sister is a cop. And you hate cops.
So basically, the story is incomprehensible. The main antagonist is....the city? Or....conservatives? Either way, you fight back by climbing on their shit and kicking police officers off of buildings.

My biggest gripe is also the game's biggest credit. It's first-person Parkour. So...y'know...yeah. It gives you a loose guideline for where to go by having certain structures appear BRIGHT RED. That's called 'Runner Vision'. I have it too, you guys. I did a wall flip off of an apple and then vaulted a fire engine. On Hard Mode--you don't have Runner Vision and the combat is way more difficult. I actually prefer Hard Mode, as it feels like a much purer experience.

Nonetheless--crappy dialogue and Saturday Morning Cartoon voice acting make the experience seem like something you'd brag to your sixth grade friends about. "Yeah, you still watch Naruto? Well I played MIRROR'S EDGE. They say 'SHIT' in that game." Awed applause ensues.

ALSO I WATCHED FIVE HUNDRED GAYS OF SUMMER

Which would've been a great porn parody.

But no, fo reels--it was a decent movie. I really wasn't into it at first--even despite Brendan Frye. At the outset, the film seems so horribly self-aware in its quirkiness that I have a hard time liking it. In an era of Garden States, Nick and Nora's and Junos--I really look for something approaching heart and shying away from coolness. Not to say I didn't enjoy the previous mentions, I just think Once outdoes the lot of em. There was no point during Once where I felt like the director was sort of watching the movie over my shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of my expressions.
Like I said though, I wasn't into it at first. I have trouble relating to the main male characters with these movies sometimes because I just don't find the romantic interest that attractive/quirky/life-changing. A lot of the 'Super Quirky' stuff that takes place in those movies is less ridiculous than the things I've already done in my life. HOWEVER: I realized after a while that the message of 500 Days Of Summer was that...actually...Zooey Deschanel wasn't the greatest girl in the universe. Love is, in fact, completely and utterly blinding. Things that are relatively normal will seem stupid-amazing. It's definitely been that way for me. Frequently. I definitely dug that last half way more than the beginning.

AND ALSO HERE IS ANOTHER TOPIC

I think, for some, the standard mode of communication is 'bitching'. More often than not, when I'm observing folk (had a coffee and read the paper at Starbucks yesterday--yes I cut eye holes into it because I'm a detective) I notice a trend among many. "How's life?" or "How's it going?" opens the floodgates for "OH GAD, well the Funfetti account's been put on hold because Cooper and Woods wanna re-sign the deal, hell if I get my bonus any time soon; but does anybody listen to me? Anyway I gotta go, I'm parked at a meter. Is this half-caf?" I think this example stood out to me so much because it seemed like the most blatant example of that sort of mentality. It's probably not financially sound to produce commercials with messages like, "Don't Worry About It" or "Life Is Bigger And More Magical Than Your Problems" or "Bake Some Cookies, Man". Actually the last one could be a Pilsbury ad I guess. But yeah, seriously.

Anyway, I may have a more directed post at some point. HOORAHZAH!!

In the meantime, fall in love with Pomplamoose again. Except don't marry them. Because they're a band. And I'm going to marry them first.

Love love love,

Dakotah

P.S. Are you okay?