THIS IS PROBABLY WHAT PARENTING IS LIKE

"Billy!"
Silence.
"BILLY!"
"What?"
"Billy, come here please."
"What?"
"I said 'come here please'!"
Sound of running feet.
"What?"
"Billy, how come your thermos is still full?"
"Oh, it's because.." Billy gets distracted by the television.
"Billy, I'm talking to you."
"Huh?"
"Why is your thermos still full? Did you not eat lunch today?"
"Yeah I did."
"Did you not see that your thermos was full?"
"What?"
"Did you not see that your thermos was full? Remember? The soup?"
"Yeah."
"Did you eat your soup?"
"I don't remember."
"You....you don't remember noon? It's two o'clock."
"No, I didn't."
"Why didn't you eat your soup? It was supposed to be your lunch."
Billy shrugs.
"Well, you'll just have to have it tomorrow then."
Billy gets distracted by the television again.
"Or tonight for dinner." Opens thermos.
Long pause.
"Billy?"
"Huh?"
"What's this?"
"Um."
"What's in here?"
Billy shrugs.
"Is this...is this pee?"
"I don't know. I guess."
"Wh...ho...why is there pee in your thermos?"
"I don't know."
"Did you pee in your thermos?"
"I guess."
"Why?"
"I dunno."
"Do you not have bathrooms in school? Do you not have sufficient bathroom breaks?"
"Yeah."
"Then why in God's name do you pee in your thermos?"
Billy gets distracted by the television.

While my little sisters haven't come up with anything this preposterous, they do have their whole lives ahead of them. Sometimes there's just....y'know....pee in a thermos. It can't be helped. Pure curiosity. And as a dude, you get that way about pee. "What if I pee in this houseplant? This guitar? This Matryoshka doll?" Every vessel appears to have a second purpose. If you're reading this and NOT a dude--please understand....imagine for a moment you can pee IN ANY DIRECTION and also you're SIX. The world begins to look a little different.

Oh hey, also re-read that dialogue but imagine Billy is in his twenties.

In other news, I'm looking for a new job and a new place. And when I say a new place--I mean a new place ANYWHERE. I've been Craigslisting in L.A. and San Francisco, but also Chicago, Portland, Seattle, and Minneapolis. Though granted, moving to any of these spots in the Winter doesn't sound like a frolic through canolis, it definitely needs to happen. Here at home, I feel like I'm living the same way I did while I was at pretend college. That's just not doing it for me anymore. All the old comfortable stuff just feels stagnating now. Also, I'd like to curse loudly and walk around BUCK ASS NEKKED. As far as a new job goes, if I'm basically working an 'anything for money' gig--I want it to be utterly mindless. I don't give two shits about selling member(heh)ships or Nooks or whatever. I've worked retail and food service way too much--I don't want to be the type who hates people and spends the duration of their shift complaining about their shift.

Oh, we have a tree now! A..a Christmas tree, that is. We didn't just hack out a birch and throw it in the corner. Though now that I think of it....our customs are fuckin' weird.

More news as it develops. Stay tuned!

Love In The Time of Chimeras,
Dakotah