Ooh, Talk Middle Management To Me Baby

Dear Barnes and Noble Manager: Don't tell me you're going to 'increase my store knowledge potentiality'. Just say 'go work the register'.

Here's the thing--if I had my druthers, I'd make a living off of performance art on the 3rd Street Promenade. (Note to self: Pick up milk, eggs, druthers.) Since I'm not quite at a level of Duperstardom, I've got to work with what I've got. What I've got is a paunchy little man who I'll call 'Derek'. Derek is the manager at the nearby B&N. He's one of those guys who talks a whole lot, doesn't really pay attention to what you say, and is always saying things like "Where I used to manage--at my old store--they called me 'Ace'." His favorite phrase is "Guess what?" usually followed by a delicious morsel of retail knowledge you could care less about. I love the bookstore, but I wish I could re-roll some of the side characters.

Also, please enjoy your daily helping of "Hey, where'd this nice handbasket come from?" A billion props to Jon Stewart.

I don't know what it is about putting your (Whoa, car accident outside...upon investigation it appears that the green electrical box across the street came out of fucking nowhere and clipped some poor guy's side mirror) posters on the wall and your books in a shelf, but it really feels like you're setting down home base. I haven't done these things. I'm rooming in my parents house with my brother, and while I love everyone deeply, I NEED TO GET GHOST QUICK. The dramatic part of me wants to be in Portland by October. The responsible part of me is easily swayed. Buh-bye free food, hello NAKED-IN-THE-KITCHEN TIME.

Also--you HAVE been reading this comic, right? Yes? Well good, I'd hate to revoke your membership. We just got hats.

This video thing will only get better--or worse. You know you love it either way.



Love, Dakotah