X-Urped

Here's even MORE of the play. It's finished. Let me know if you want the whole thing. I'll send it to you....or whatever---I don't even really care... *weep*

MAN. Ow.

WOMAN. You fucking deserve it.

MAN. Getting sloppily to his feet. You hit really hard.

Pause

WOMAN. Are you alright?

MAN. No.

WOMAN. Good. How’s your metaphor?

MAN. Ha ha.

WOMAN. I should’ve kicked you in the junk.

MAN. Thanks.

WOMAN. Or tazed you.

MAN. You’re a peach.

WOMAN. Don’t do that again.

MAN. No kidding.

WOMAN. I’m going.

MAN. I don’t want you to.

WOMAN. Why not?

MAN. Because we’re getting close.

WOMAN. To what? Really?

MAN. Where’d you put those veggies?

WOMAN. They’re in the freezer.

MAN. Uh huh. Walks into the kitchen.

WOMAN. I should’ve put em in the middle drawer on the left. Or the oven. The broiler. Would’ve been more your style.

MAN. Off. You’re a doll. Returning with the veggies pressed to his mouth. He goes to the couch and flops down. I’ll tell you one thing, we definitely jumped that ‘sleeping together’ hurdle.

WOMAN. Yeah, right?

MAN. So…well done.

WOMAN. I’m not staying though.

MAN. I kinda’ figured. He winces.

WOMAN. How’s your face?

MAN. Feels a little ‘punched’.

WOMAN. There’s a cream for that.

MAN. I’m going to call you ‘Tina Tactful’ from now on.

WOMAN. Tina? Ew.

MAN. You brought it on yourself. What’s wrong with ‘Tina’ anyway?

WOMAN. Stop saying it.

MAN. It’s like you can’t restrain a pretty girl with extreme force anymore these days.

WOMAN. I’ll ignore the creepiness of that sentence because you called me ‘pretty’.



Love love love!!
Dakotah