Sketch N' Betch.

So I picked up a Wacom tablet yesterday so I could draw stuff DIGITALLY.

BEST PRESENT TO MYSELF EVER.

Check it out.

Love,
Dakotah

Even Love The Cool Kids

In addition to being an awesome band name, it's something I have to constantly remind myself. Considering that Silly Is The New Sexy is my general philosophy--a lot of 'Cool People' slip through the cracks.

I think cool is stupid as hell, so I don't cut it any slack. Consequently, I look down on the phenomenon as a whole and tend to castigate those who buy into it. It's just as unfair as cool people doing the same. It comes from a fear of acceptance. Write them off before they write you off--essentially it reveals the underlying need to be found just as cool.

But I ain't. I won't ever be, and I don't want to be.

And shit, it's individual anyway. Utterly. Why am I going to expend any energy trying to compare the whole of my being to anyone/anything else? I think swing dancing is cool. I think hilarious videos are cool. I think Gurren-Lagann is cool. I think the large hadron collider is cool. I think buying an old military decal and pinning it to my hunting cap is cool. Also; goths who are totally nice, swanky coffee shops, irreverent webcomics, steampunk, poetry, Shakespeare, and fantastic butts are all cool.

Theory: Human beings crave additional methods of measurement--things that aren't as simple as physique--things that can tip the scales in the everyman's favor. Things we can ultimately control.

So we made 'cool'...and the hipsters/bros/thugs/shopgirls said it was good.

It's an expired concept. It's time to trade it for something like 'honesty' or 'enthusiasm'.

Dorkily yours always,
Dakotah

That Competitive Edge

Had a revelation this morning.

Somehow I'd let myself begin to think I'd won. Or not necessarily won per se--but that I was at least somewhere around the 84% completion mark....as if I was waiting for my Trophy to unlock on the main menu somewhere. I'd made a final push through life and now I could take it easy, because--hell--I'd already put in all my effort! Anything I do NOW involves getting called back out of retirement. I'm Solid Snaking this shit. Shadow Moses, BITCH.

Or so I thought.

Suddenly I realized that I'm not even CLOSE to 'done'. Percent complete? ZERO.

And that's AMAZING. Post-game is a great time to relax...to ease up on that competitive edge. But not NOW. NOW is the opposite! I've let myself slack and I'm only JUST realizing it. After a whirlwind three years--easily the most difficult and amazing years of my life--I started to lean on the wall and catch my breath. Fate, however, has different plans for me. It is SO FAR from over that I laugh at how I could even pretend it was. I wanted rest. I wanted some kind of medal for finishing a few aspects of life.

I forgot I was a beginner. I'm STILL a beginner. How beautiful is that?

In the meantime, I have to pack up. Got two shows and two workshops today. Somehow--instead of feeling exhausted by it--I'm feeling invigorated.

Pop, lock, and drop it,
Dakotah

Smelly

So times like now are really difficult.

I don't know how it managed to transcend time and space--but somehow, your smell is on my fingertips. Its inexplicable. It's absurd. It's the smell of 'Gross Pointe Blank' and Toad-In-A-Hole made with Sourdough toast. It's medicine and redwood trees, travel and sleep. Decisions, mistakes, and repetitions. Exploding glass and hair.

Yes, I'm being excessively sentimental--perhaps its the result of a few pints and an 8 hour drive through northern Idaho (not in that order) into the impossibly gorgeous lakeside paradise of Sandpoint (Stars Hollow. No joke.)

The smell is fading. I'm using it up. It brings tears to my eyes. It's like that, though. That's the way it works. I'm okay with it.

But fuck all if I don't find myself missing your celtic knots and your Buffy dance.

I Am Constantly Blown Away

Holy fucking shit--we can do ANYTHING.

I saw Balance Dance Company perform today--and it fucked me up.

I should elaborate.

Dance is an art form that I profess to have only a cursory knowledge of...so watching it feels like an absolutely pure experience. These freaking girls--no--these artists could express themselves in a way I couldn't even begin to crack into right now. It was amazing, and at the same time, it's something I could completely do given the time and focus. Time and focus...patience and passion.

And...yeah...we can do ANYTHING.

ANYTHING we want.

For reals.

How crazy is that?

Two months ago, I was working at Barnes and Noble--shelving Twilight books and trying to see the friends I could on the weekends in the meantime. Now I'm performing a role I didn't think I'd even get considered for--for another ten years...and I'm getting PAID to do it! WHAT THE EFF.

I love life.

Love love love,
Dakotah

Limit Break

This post isn't about special attacks from Final Fantasy.

Not this time, anyway.

I follow the blog of Jason Mraz's ex-sound engineer slash joyologist. She is amazing, and I'm completely (one might say...TOTES..) in love...and not the kind of 'in love' where you have to be loved back. It's the other kind. The infinite kind that you can pour over everyone you encounter.

Like custard.

Her post just got me thinking about the infinite nature of life. Her comment about being 'at capacity' struck a particular chord with me. I've always had a weird idea about people getting to a certain age and settling. Like we've done all of our growing up and we now deserve the grand prize--comfort. I know that isn't necessarily the case, but it IS something I've always been concerned about. Finding that one person who is willing to share your life with you--who WANTS to grow and who WANTS to take on every single challenge life has to offer.

That'd be wild.

In the meantime--you can NEVER have enough friends, enough loves, enough happinesses, enough favorites. You can never know enough languages, master enough sports, arts, games...Jeez... If ever in my life, I forget that its our nature to EXPERIENCE and EXPLORE it ALL--I want whatever I'm eating to be knocked out of my hand while someone shouts at me through a megaphone.

Love love love (you can never have enough)
Dakotah

My Sanctuary

On the way back from a show in Cascade, Idaho--the cast decided to take a stop along the road and scramble down the rocky path to a river below.

Here's where I ate lunch.



And yes, I am levitating.

No, but for reals--WHAT THE EFF. My day basically consists of the following.

• Get up early
• Meet similarly bleary-eyed friends
• Drive an hour or so to our performance spot
• Optional coffee break
• Perform
• Optional lunch break
• Go thrift store shopping/sightseeing
• Come home
• Realize its 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

Job = Rad. Still.

Totes Feeves.

Every now and again, I write a post like this...and seeing as its been a while--here we go!

I'm going to gnash through my molars, here.

BE PREPARED FOR TOO MUCH INFORMATION THEATRE. IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED/A RELATIVE OF MINE--YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

If you've been nearby while I'm drunk at a party--you know I have a ridiculously absurd sex drive. Chances are I've slung an arm around your shoulder and leaned too close to your ear to whisper at you through gritted teeth, "Good GOD there are too many amazing butts in this room." Perhaps you know this even without those circumstances. Perhaps you've dated me before.

Now I know what you're thinking. "Absurd? No dude...you're a guy. It's just like that."
My response to you is, "No no no--you don't understand. This is different."

My amp goes up to eleven.

It's to the point where I'm surfing the web-o-tron at a coffee shop and actually pausing videos and turning down the volume so I can specifically focus on butts. Like...I can't have any distractions. If someone where to tap me on the shoulder, I would push them away by the face until I was ABSOLUTELY through with my appraisal. And this isn't like...every ten minutes or so. This is near constant. It's been about an hour, and I haven't gotten through the latest AVGN.

It used to frustrate me. (HAHAHAHAHAHA, GET IT!?? CUZ-) But now I've just kind of accepted it. This is how I'm wired, and potential girlfriends will simply have to understand/be patient/carry a sedative-filled needle. Seriously--I've just lost three minutes between the previous sentance and this one because the window I'm looking through is on a downtown thoroughfare.

But JESUS--FUCK.

Funniest dude moments thus far:

Dakotah's eyes "Hey wow...you're quite the young lady.."
Pause
Dakotah's eyes "OH GOD, YOU'RE QUITE THE YOUNG LADY..."

Dakotah's eyes "Is it like...fine ass day in Boise?"
Dakotah's brain "Hey, I hear the Final Fantasy Thirteen review just popped up, you wanna check that out?"
Dakotah's eyes "Shut the fuck up or you don't get any more circulation."
Dakotah's brain "But I thought you were interes...ooooh...ohhhh... it's all getting dark..."

That's all. Thought I'd share.

Also--as an addendum, let me describe a dude who's sitting outside right now. Bright yellow sunglasses, tiny tank top, enormously beefy, tattoo sleeves, longboard perched next to him, puffing on a cigar, flipping through "Man's Search For Meaning", massive hole in the crotch of his jeans.

Love love love,
Dakotah

I did NAAAHT

Me and the cast watched The Room twice in the span of two days. I really REALLY hope I get to slip an "I did NAAHT" or "I'm fed AHP with thees WAHRLD," into the show. If only...

...man...if only...

I'm a little sick and vocally weak, but thankfully I'm supported by the most fantastic motherflippin' group of actors ever. I honestly can't believe I'm not at a two month long sleepover. There have been so many moments that have been absolutely incredible. Example:

• Got lost on the way to Buhl High School (Thanks, Googlemaps!) Got there with 20 minutes to spare (We're supposed to have a full hour.) The drama kids got us loaded in and set up and ready to run in roughly 12 minutes. YOU KIDS ARE AWESOME. After the show, they surrounded us for hugs and autographs, then took us around to the front of the school to take pictures with the tractors they DROVE THERE THAT DAY.
• Being from L.A., the coolest geographical oddity I ever see the 405/101 junction. Here in Twin Falls, not only are there waterfalls (Which during the fall and winter months are nothing--but evidently look AWESOME in the summer...I'll just have to come back) but there's a gorge. An effing gorge. Like a 'drive a bridge over it because its torn the very earth asunder' gorge. We all took a trip down there yesterday evening. Effing gorgeous. PUN INTENDED.
• Found Mario 3 at a thrift store.
• While eating a school-provided lunch off of a sectioned tray, I had a conversation with a red-headed kid about how, despite waking up a five in the morning every day to go work on his farm, he really loves to perform as much as he can. I felt like a walking advertisement for 'Life through art'. "All this and more can be yours too!" I told him that no matter what, find time to read plays and speak the words. That's something he can do anywhere, with or without a stage. I imagine he's standing atop his combine shouting Lear right now.

If somebody had pulled me aside in school and told me that after graduation, this would be my JOB. An actual JOB I could GET, I would've laughed and told them to stop hogging all the jungle juice. I'm sitting in a Hampton in Twin Falls, Idaho--about to go bic my bald head, eat a continental breakfast with a handful of the coolest people I've ever met, go strangle my wife in front of hundreds of kids, then hop on the road for a few hours while listening to Tally Hall and cracking jokes with that same handful of people. Pinch me.

Left cheek, please.

Love love love,
Dakotah

On The Precepts Of Amateur Alchemy

There is a tiny impossible thing called a 'Sorcerers' Stone'
which creates something from nothing
and nothing from being
its shaped like a small round coin
bisected down the impossible center
one side is fear, the other, love
this coin rests in all of our hearts
and we conduct Alchemy with varying degrees of responsibility
to the governing factors of the universe

A frightening, frightening thing
to bend lead into gold
to transmute little glimmering dolls
or jeweled crowns
as I have
without ever, ever seeing the other side

and now
now
very now
there is time.
Not quite so much,
but enough.

Love love love (LOVE),
Dakotah