That Competitive Edge

Had a revelation this morning.

Somehow I'd let myself begin to think I'd won. Or not necessarily won per se--but that I was at least somewhere around the 84% completion mark....as if I was waiting for my Trophy to unlock on the main menu somewhere. I'd made a final push through life and now I could take it easy, because--hell--I'd already put in all my effort! Anything I do NOW involves getting called back out of retirement. I'm Solid Snaking this shit. Shadow Moses, BITCH.

Or so I thought.

Suddenly I realized that I'm not even CLOSE to 'done'. Percent complete? ZERO.

And that's AMAZING. Post-game is a great time to relax...to ease up on that competitive edge. But not NOW. NOW is the opposite! I've let myself slack and I'm only JUST realizing it. After a whirlwind three years--easily the most difficult and amazing years of my life--I started to lean on the wall and catch my breath. Fate, however, has different plans for me. It is SO FAR from over that I laugh at how I could even pretend it was. I wanted rest. I wanted some kind of medal for finishing a few aspects of life.

I forgot I was a beginner. I'm STILL a beginner. How beautiful is that?

In the meantime, I have to pack up. Got two shows and two workshops today. Somehow--instead of feeling exhausted by it--I'm feeling invigorated.

Pop, lock, and drop it,
Dakotah